


we’re not out of the tunnel (i bet you though there’s an end)

by slowdancers



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Blind Character, Blood and Injury, Confessions, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Eye Trauma, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, M/M, Mild Gore, Mutual Pining, Physical Abuse, Soft Thirst, idk what else to tag bruh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-01
Updated: 2018-07-01
Packaged: 2019-05-28 22:00:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,992
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15058718
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/slowdancers/pseuds/slowdancers
Summary: “you’re the only friend i need.”





	we’re not out of the tunnel (i bet you though there’s an end)

**Author's Note:**

> RIKA APOLOGISTS DONT INTERACT
> 
> heavily inspired by the truth untold by bts ;3;

i.

it’s just the two of them. the only two that matter. they’re five drinks in yet jumin still manages to keep his composure, that is until jihyun sneaks his hand under the table and laces his fingers together with jumin’s. a strange feeling has settled in his gut. to say the feeling is unknown, however, would be a complete lie. he only ever feels this way when he’s with him.

unlike jumin, jihyun is emotionally vulnerable. he is love instead of money. he is soft melodies that carry a sorrow heart, his own being too tired to function from the amount of affection he gives. jihyun is love that works too hard, powering into overdrive because he needs to spread that love to everyone, (jumin vaguely recalls hearing him utter the words _“i want to make everyone happy.”_ whilst sobbing over the death of his cactus when they were children) he is private thoughts that jumin wishes he had the privilege of knowing.

jumin feels jihyun’s eyes on him and turns to meet his gaze. his flushed face makes jihyun giggle as he tightens the grip on his hand and smooths his thumb over the back of jumin’s hand.

jumin remembers coming across a novel about soulmates during his teenage years. he remembers thinking _do soulmates exist?_ he never thought he would discover the answer in his best friend’s eyes. jihyun tips his head to the side, eyes bright as coins, flashing white teeth when he smiles. his eyes lose their shine when he smiles too wide and jumin sees the light dim behind them. god, how jumin wants to protect that light forever.

they stay like that for a while, communicating only with their eyes, their souls connecting and becoming one, jumin’s hand still remains in his because what else can he do with it? (the other in Hers because that is where jihyun says it belongs)

an _“i miss you”_ from jumin

an _“i’m right here”_ from jihyun, with his eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

a _”that is not what i meant” _followed by a sigh and a sip of his drink.__

____

alcohol brings all of jumin’s unwanted (so very much wanted) thoughts to the foreground. maybe no one will notice them in the corner of a dimly lit bar. maybe he’s just a little bit drunk, and the alcoholic haze over his brain says that it’s okay to let himself indulge just this once. but for a long time, jumin has been running from his emotions like schoolchildren run from prayer and he cannot (will not allow himself to) stop.

but it’s too late anyway, jihyun has a fiancée now. her skin is like marble - as white as the milk she drinks before bed - and jihyun is scared that if he holds her too tight, he might break her.

but marble is strong and he shouldn’t have fallen in love with her.

 _“everything always comes in threes!”_ he had said after noticing the puzzled look on jumin’s face when he had told him about rika. _“you’re the only friend i need.”_ was jumin’s (unspoken) response. how could jihyun let someone into their home, their world where only they exist, where only they can understand each other?

_tip the hourglass, go back with me. i’ll take you to the penthouse and sink my teeth into the soft hollow of your throat._

none of it matters anymore. jihyun has a fiancée now and jumin hopes he is happy, he knows he is. 

  


ii.

_she is not a deity._

the blood in his mouth begins to taste like religion, like the way she looks at him. she is hydrogen and helium; hot enough to rip the colour from his eyes.

she has him pinned to the ground. the flat side of the blade runs down his cheek, his neck, his chest. he can’t help but shiver.

“how dare you,” she says softly like how a lover would whisper sweet nothings, “how dare you try to leave me?”

“what are you talking about? i would never leave you, rika. i lo-“

“liar!” rika slams her fist next to jihyun’s head. “you are my sun! h-how could you do this to me?” tears were leaking out the corners of her eyes, smudging her mascara. and yet, she still manages to look beautiful to jihyun.

“i’m sorry, please forgive me, rika.” he apologised. “i would never do anything to hurt you.” rika was incredible in many ways. one of them being how she would always find a way to make it jihyun’s fault. she pushes over sandcastles and tells him the ocean is the enemy. 

_there is nothing about her to be worshipped._

rika cradles his face with one hand, the other still holding the blade, he had forgotten about that, which was now placed against his right eye. 

“you’re all i have. i won’t lose you.” her honeyed words make jihyun relax into her touch, the tip of the blade poking at his lower eyelid. 

“i won’t leave you rika,” sweat trickled down his face as rika presses with just enough pressure so jihyun could feel the tip against his eyeball. “but please, please promise me you won’t hurt anyone anymore. especially the RFA.” the blade presses deeper and deeper, and he can feel his blood beginning to flow from the cut. 

“i love you, rika. even if you strangle my neck, blind my eyes and break my limbs... i will still love you."

the blade plunges into his eye socket. jihyun screams out in excruciating pain, rika shushes him and lovingly cards her fingers through his hair. the second eye elicits far less of a reaction and she can’t help but feel disappointed.

“i love you too.”

_why is it then, that she demands sacrifice?_

  


iii.

sometimes there’s good things. 

the warm early morning breeze plays with his hair and eases his mind. the door to the balcony opens and shuts, a set of footsteps approach him, he hears a clink as something is set down on the table beside him. 

a faint scratching sound can be heard which could only belong to elizabeth the 3rd. jumin would not allow her to step foot on the balcony in case she hurt herself. a muffled _“meow”_ makes jihyun smile and part of him wishes that he still had his vision, that he hadn’t refused treatment, just so he could take a photograph of the beautiful creature. 

_whoever heard of a blind photographer?_

but if he had to pick out of everything, he would say he misses jumin’s eyes the most. they say eyes are the windows to the soul. jumin’s eyes are onyx black, he is innocent and risky love in one. _whoever said white symbolises innocence is a dumbass_ , jihyun thinks. 

the rough (but gentle, very gentle) hand holding his is replaced with a cold glass of water, so cold that it makes jihyun involuntarily flinch. 

“jihyun, it’s me. i’m here.” jumin’s voice is so soft, he feels so safe and warm. his words echo in jihyun’s mind.

_i’m here”_

he’s _here?_

he’s here.

of course he’s here, jumin has always been here for him yet jihyun was too blind (ha!) to see that. his fingers slide on the condensation before he regains his grip and hastily brings the glass to his lips.

“how have you been? this water is nice, very refreshing. is it tap?” jihyun was always a conversationalist. not much of a social butterfly but more like a social snail. he keeps to himself but is always so slow to leave. 

“jihyun,” jumin sighs, reaching over to pry the glass out of his hand, his voice as soft as the beat of a butterfly’s wings. “are you okay? you can talk to me, that is if you feel comfortable in doing so, i will listen to you.”

jihyun contemplates for a while and decides he has nothing to lose.

“can we talk, frankly?”

“there’s no other way we can.” 

“i-“ he looks up to seek some reassurance in jumin’s expression. but there is nothing. he can’t see, he can’t see, he’ll _never_ be able to see. jihyun is brought back to reality when a hand squeezes his own.

“it’s okay.” jumin says, his voice like melting honey. being with rika had made him feel cramped and had narrowed him. but jumin? jumin’s gentleness and affection warmed and opened his senses.

jihyun truly does not deserve jumin. 

“i’m sorry, i know i haven’t been the best of friends and i’m sorry to have burdened you with this. you have never wanted anything from me, except the truth.” jihyun shifts his gaze to the floor, not that it would matter anyway he’s fucking blind.

“t-the truth-“ jihyun draws in a shaky breath “the truth is... i just... i wish the world didn’t work against us. the truth is i think about pressing my lips on yours a lot. n-not like we’re kissing but...but like-“

“like we’re exchanging our words for deeper meanings? like we’re searching for something the other doesn’t know is inside them?” jumin interjected.

jihyun means to question jumin but stays frozen like a deer in headlights. helium fills his ribcage, making him too light, ready to float away. 

“i cannot say i have never thought about it before. as a matter of fact, i have imagined countless scenarios in which-“ jumin pauses. “it’s best if i don’t continue that sentence.” he murmurs. jihyun is sure that a smirk is plastered upon jumin’s face right now.

a pair of hands encircle jihyun’s wrists, firm but gentle. “what i mean to say is that i want to ruin our friendship, we should be lovers instead.” 

jihyun involuntarily releases a choked gasp but whether or not jumin heard is unknown as he continues.

“i cannot pinpoint exactly when i realised i was in love with you, perhaps i blurred the lines between friendship and romantic love.” the grip on his wrists loosen. 

“but what i do know is that i love you and i am in love with you. i am aware that you’re still recovering from the unfortunate events which have occurred and my sudden outburst may have overwhelmed you-“

jihyun interrupts jumin this time. he grabs hold of his shoulders, uses them like a ship harbours an anchor and smashes his lips against jumin’s.

it’s messy. jihyun can’t see, all he can do is feel. and he feels gnashing teeth and warm tongues. it’s getting hard to breathe and so he pulls back, leaving spit on jumin’s lips.

“i love you.” jihyun whispers, the words hang heavy in the air (but at least they don’t hang so heavily on him).

he feels jumin’s hands cup his face. “i love you too.” he chuckles, breathing heavily. it sounds different, in a good way. his “i love you” isn’t full of malice, those words aren’t being uttered to him after a punishment, this is sincere and warm and honest.

 _this_ is love.

jumin’s love surrounds him, fills his lungs and forces his heart to beat, hands needy upon him. 

“don’t you think i deserve worse than this?” jihyun murmurs as jumin’s thumb gently rubs over his knuckles. 

“isn’t this exactly what you deserve?” jihyun is certain that jumin is smiling (oh what he wouldn’t do to see that smile again). a chaste kiss is pressed upon his lips, leaving him blushing at the same time. 

“could you do that again?” jihyun finds himself asking before he can stop himself. a deep baritone chuckle rings in his ears.

“you don’t even have to ask.” is the last thing he hears before he’s being pulled in again. 

jumin’s lips are soft, almost silken. stars burst behind jihyun’s eyelids. he gently groans in response, hands fisting his shirt, bodies pressed tight. he can feel the soft tickle of his breath beneath his nose, fingers threading through jumin's hair as they drown in each other.

**Author's Note:**

> i know it’s canon that jumin also had feelings for rika but i like to think that he actually liked jihyun, he just displaced those feelings onto rika because yknow....internalised homophobia and all that..
> 
> pls leave kudos & a comment if you enjoyed this :-)
> 
> tumblr - jaeheelovebot


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